Fandom: Death Note
Prompt: 128. Paltry at tamingthemuse; written also for 27. Line between Love and Hate (~Dying just for you) at 30_angsts
Summary: L wondered what sort of man would pray for his murders to be forgiven.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. I'm not that smart. Also, this is a work of fiction that contains sexual interaction between two male characters. Note the part that says fiction before having hysterics, please.
A/N: Unbetaed. Also, this is dedicated to nardaviel, who asked me for a timestamp fic set three weeks after the events of The Judas Kiss. I hope you like it!
As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.
L did not put much faith in religion. He found the idea of an all powerful being who hovered on the outskirts of the humanity unlikely at best and absurd at worst. Still, sometimes he wondered if he were wrong to doubt. Now, in a hotel room in Japan, L almost wished that he knew how to pray.
The room was dark, illuminated by the flash of lights through the window, and the glow of the alarm clock. For once, L was resting in bed. Yagami Light lay next to him. Neither of them slept, but they remained silent, each waiting for the other to speak.
The noises of the city floated up and through the window, even as high over the street as they were. It was nearly three in the morning, but car horns and other noises beat in an almost primal rhythm. In the distance, he could hear the echo of the memory of bells. Maybe he would ask Watari what kind of church it was that played such haunting melodies.
"Suicide is a mortal sin in the Christian faith." L broke the silence finally.
If Light was surprised by his comment, he gave no indication. "I know."
"Is it suicide if you set on a course of action knowing that it will end in death? Even if you do not actually take your own life?"
Light shifted, but he didn't look at L. "I would guess that it would be a matter of intent. Do you believe God sees shades of gray?"
"I don't know." L frowned. "If God is omniscient, then He or She would know the innermost workings of each person. I doubt there is any gray."
"You told me once that you believed Kira began with an honest desire to make a better world."
"Yes." L waited, certain that Light would continue without prompting.
"Even if he," Light's lips quirked, "or she, later became corrupt, would you not at least consider the possibility that Kira began in the shades between black and white?"
L shook his head slowly. "Murder is never forgivable."
"Hm." Light hummed, rolling onto his side. He ran his chained hand down L's naked side, stopping at the jut of his hip bone. "Then I suppose God would not see unintentional, but cognizant suicide, any differently than deliberate suicide." He slowly rubbed his thumb over the dip in L's side and moved close enough to press his lips to L's ear. "What has happened that you suddenly fear that Kira will win?"
L caught Light's hand and held it firmly against his hip. "This," he said, simply.
Light laughed, low in his throat. "If I didn't know for a fact that you enjoyed yourself earlier, I would wonder if that was a veiled insult at my sexual prowess."
Despite himself, L smiled slightly. "You are good at everything you do, Yagami Light. It comes as no surprise that you are good at the Arts of Eros as well."
Light shifted so that he was laying half atop L, his face looming over the detective's. "If you fear damnation, then why do you continue to fight?"
"Because I am only one man."
"If you are correct," Light countered, "then Kira is only one man."
"And I would give up everything to defeat Kira."
Light narrowed his eyes, speaking deliberately. "If you're correct, I am Kira."
"Tell me, L." Light dropped his mouth to L's, whispering against the detective's lips. "Is it Kira that you are so desperate to defeat? Or me?"
"If you are Kira, then there is no difference." L ran his free hand up Light's back, pulling the younger boy more firmly atop him. He smiled, almost maliciously, at the flare of lust in Light's eyes.
"That is a paltry excuse of an answer considering your usual brilliance." Light swallowed hard, his breath coming slightly stilted.
"Do you seek flattery, Light-kun?" L moved his leg, allowing Light to settle between his thighs. He was gratified to feel that Light was aroused. Lazily, he threw one leg around Light's calves, holding him in place. "Or do you ask for another reason?"
"You risk your life, possibly your soul. Is it worth it?"
The fire in Light's eyes flashed brightly, capturing L in their hypnotic gaze. Slowly, L reached up to brush his fingers over Light's cheek. "Yes."
Forgive them, Father. They know not what they do. The prayer flitted through L's mind and he wondered what sort of man would beg forgiveness for the ones who were murdering him. He brought his mouth up to Light's, lips and tongues tangling together and thought, for a moment, that he could almost understand.
When Light groaned against L's mouth, L thought, almost randomly, that it was too bad he didn't pray.